"What if, in another universe, I deserve you?
Hear me out. There’s this philosopher from the 1890s named William
James, and he coined this theory about “the multiverse” which suggests
that a hypothetical set of multiple universes comprises everything that
can possibly exist simultaneously.
Are you following? The entirety of space, time, matter and energy is
all happening at once in different timelines: It’s the idea of parallel
universes. Right? So okay, let’s presume the multiverse is real.
Well then, maybe somewhere in those infinite universes is one, or several, where I deserve you.
Maybe there’s a universe out there — happening now — where we end up
together and when I close my eyes at night, I’m not dreaming the way a
normal person would. Instead I’m seeing flashes of our lives in the
multiverse. They’re not simple dreams because I miss you, right? They’re
scientific, anachronistic visions.
In this universe, I don’t want a family, but maybe in another, I’m
more of the type to settle down. Maybe there’s a universe where you hold
my hand while I give birth to our daughter in a white hospital room
with pink flowers and fuzzy teddy bears on the window sill. Where we
take family vacations and pose for dorky pictures in our neon bathing
suits on the sands of a Florida beach. Where we curl up to watch a
cheesy movie at the end of a long day in our big, green, suburban house
once the kids have fallen asleep.
Maybe there’s a universe where we are middle-aged and taking our
child to college and bickering over where to put her dresser or what
posters she should hang up. Where you kiss her on the forehead ‘goodbye’
and we drive home in contented, proud silence, your fingers grazing my
knuckles, our wedding rings glistening. Where we both have gray hair and
we laugh and smile and hug and drink lemonade on the porch.
Maybe there’s a universe where that’s the life I want. Where I don’t
second guess everything and I’m not afraid of commitment and of the
future and of love. Maybe there’s a universe without all the noise in my
head and the pride that makes me so fiercely independent and the
coldness in my heart that I can turn on and off like a security fence.
Maybe there’s a universe where I’m the right person for you. Where I
adore every nice thing you did for me without starting to resent you. A
universe where you actually end up with someone who appreciates you.
Where no one becomes a doormat. Where both of us can shed our baggage
and curiosity and issues. A universe where we’re happy — without
wondering if that happiness is some messed-up Jenga game ready to topple
at the slightest quiver. A universe where we’re comfortable and sure,
and we have cats.
Maybe there’s a universe where we fall asleep next to each other
every night like spoons, like two innocent bunnies — my face buried in
your neck, hugging your warmth — and we both don’t want anything or
anybody else. Where we don’t want more, we just want each other.
Maybe there’s a universe where I don’t covet so much all the time and
where I’m content and where I don’t wonder about picking up and moving
to Japan without saying anything to anyone and where at this very
juncture, I can just know I’ll always want to come home and cook dinner
If you think of it all this way, then it’s like neither of us did anything wrong.
You just found me in the wrong universe. That’s all. This is, as they
say, the darkest timeline. Everywhere else, nay, “everywhen” else — us
in the Civil War, us in Ancient Egypt, us in the swinging ’60s — we are
If this theory holds, well, by the law of averages, there had to be
one universe — just this one — where we don’t end up together. Here and
now just happens to be it. If you think of it this way, nothing is our
So see, that explains everything. We’re not together anymore because of the multiverse.
Well, isn’t that comforting?
If you’re sad, do like I do and just think of the other ‘verses. The
ones where I believe in love and where I don’t hate myself and where I
never feel the need to kamikaze relationships. A universe where we can
have nice things. It’s helpful, right?
Because you could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you."
- Maybe in another universe, I deserve you by Gaby Dunn
Jeg tenker mye på dette. I hvert eneste sekund ligger muligheten for at alt kunne vært helt annerledes. Ikke bare i kjærlighet, men i livet.
Summen av alle valg jeg har tatt er livet mitt. Jeg tror det er derfor jeg er så ubesluttsom, fordi å velge noe betyr å velge bort noe annet. Hvordan vet man at den veien man velger er den riktige?
Så slik kan man tenke, når det går galt. Kanskje ikke i dette livet, kanskje ikke på denne veien, kanskje ikke her. Men i et annet liv, på en annen vei, på et annet sted, der er vi.
Der er vi lykkelige, der hører vi sammen.